Accepting a Life Sentence of Pain

I did not talk directly with the doctor from the Laser Spine Institute but he did call back and left a message. On the message the doctor stated there was nothing they could do to help me because of the complex anomalies and the multiple problems in my neck. It would be too dangerous to try anything and the there is no real chance it would be successful because of the numerous problems.

No sweat, I was not expecting anything other than the response I received. I have to accept the fact there is no spinal doctor or clinic capable of helping me because of my unique and complicated makeup.

I have to accept I have been given a life sentence of Pain and unless there are medical miracles in my lifetime, which in my case is very doubtfuly, this sentence will never change. Also, part of this sentence is expect the pain will continue to get worse with time. The hardest thing to deal with being in extreme pain all the time is the depression, lack of hope, lack of being positive, and the giving up attitude the comes along with it.

My only reasonable option to dealing with this situation is to search for ways within my control to live with this and not rely on any doctors. This in conjunction with Pain Medicine and Cortisone Injections will have to be the answer. This is very difficult to accept as being my life, but I have no other choice except for ones that don't end up to well.

After the XMAS holiday season starting in Jan 2008., I am going to make some changes in my life. The way I am living right now cannot be helping my situation and if I change some of them maybe it can help even if slightly.

CHANGES

***Quit Smoking

***Go to a nutritionist specialist who can advise me on how I can eat and diet better....right now I am down to 165lbs, my lowest weight in over 5 years. This cannot be healthy. There has to be foods out there that can help with overall emotional health and in combination help reduce some of the pain even if it is minimal.

***Try some other alternative conservitive medical methods in place of traditional medicine. We have a doctor who they call the 'Witch Doctor' in the Doylestown area. She has used all kinds of interesting methods to help people with conditions doctors have ruled unknown or non-operable. She uses weird methods to diagnose problems and then offers conservitive solutions to people who have all but given up. It costs like $150 for an appt. but it can't hurt.

***Go to physical therapy, at least massage for a lifetime basis if my insurance will cover it.

***See a chiropractor to help with the pain that is in other areas of my back (thorasic &lumbar). I have scoliosis in my thorasic part of my back and due to the problems in my neck I get alot of referred pain along with the normal pain in this area.

***Start some kind of physical exercise program that can work within my limitations and not exacerbate my pain.

***Try and achieve some of my goals in life. My goals today are so much different then they were a few years ago. The only difference is I have only made minor steps to achieving some of these goals because of my health. I know I have the ability to help others in this world due to the many challenges I have had in my lifetime. One of my biggest goals is to take advantage what I have gone through and use to help others through the Internet and or in other ways.

***Get out of the house as much as possible and try to enjoy life. I have a choice of being in despair and continue to live in solitude because of this sentence. Or I can try and live the rest of my life striving for enjoyment and happiness. This is going to be extremely hard to do but I have no other choice. I want to enjoy the rest of my life and make contributions to this world.

***Get back to being close with the Lord. I guess it is normal to stray away from the Lord when you are depressed and unable to accept what life has thrown at you. But I need to stay close to him if I have any chance of accomplishing some of the changes I need to make. When ever I have made major strides in my life it has been when I have been close to the Lord.

Annual Christmas Party with Chinese Pollyanna

Yesterday was our annual Christmas Party at Mom Mom Janes. Many families and kids come and we have a chinese pollyanna which is alot of fun.

For anyone who does not know what a chinese pollyanna is I'll briefly explain. Everyone brings a $5 gift wrapped up and receives a numbered ticket when they come in the door. The numbers are called out and if it is your number you can pick an unopened gift or you can choose to take a gift from someone who already opened a gift. So for example if my number was called and I picked an unopened gift and it was $5 of lottery tickets than someone who comes after me has the option of taking my gift from me and then I repick a gift or take one from someone else. Once a gift has been taken twice than the gift is no longer available to be taken. It's alot of fun. The kids love it.

Here is a slideshow of the party. This also includes my family taken turns getting our picture taken with our nephew Luke.

Rebecca Lynn - New addition to the family!

Here is a slideshow of the newest addition to our family. In some of the pictures you will see Rebecca Lynn comforting me when I had a massive headache. Enjoy!

'THE RED-CAPPED MANAKIN' DOING THE MOONWALK!!!

The Red-capped Manakin (Pipra mentalis) is a species of bird in the Pipridae family. It is found in Belize, Colombia, Costa Rica, Ecuador, Guatemala, Honduras, Mexico, Nicaragua, and Panama. Its natural habitat is subtropical or tropical moist lowland forests.

Accident Update

It has been a week since my last post. In this past week I have been to the Penn Pain Center for cortisone trigger point injections. TPI is a procedure used to treat painful areas of muscle that contain trigger points, or knots of muscle that form when muscles do not relax. For me the relief lasts for a couple of days and this week after the accident it didn't help at all. I went to the doctors today and they diagnosed me with whiplash and in my case it really aggrevated the problems I already suffered from making the pain worse. I have to go to Physical Therapy more for massage, heat and ice than trying to do exercises to strenthen the muscle. Due to the fusion and complex anomalies on my neck doing exercises are limited to my fusion and most likely will cause more pain then helping. I have to continue on the fentanyl patch to manage the pain and due to the increase in pain from the accident I may have to have my dosage increased.

On a better note, this weekend we are going to my Mom's for our annual XMAS party. We have a chinese polyianna every year which is alot of fun. I will post a slideshow on Monday.

Enjoy this weekend and the beginning of December, the last month of 2007. I can't believe 2008 is right around the corner. Where has the year gone?